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How to Fail at Fitness (In 7 Easy Steps)

October 15

A Step by Step Guide to Guarantee that You Won’t Reach Your Goals.

1. Start with very unrealistic expectations.  If you’re working out, it should take no more than a month to get in ridiculously good shape.  If you want to lose weight, it needs to be at least five pounds per week.  If you don’t reach those goals as soon as possible, the whole thing is pointless anyway and will never work.

2.  Don’t plan anything!!!!  Don’t come up with any idea how you’ll reach those unrealistic goals.  Planning out your meals or scheduling your workouts is SO RISKY!  If you commit to a class ahead of time, what if when the time comes you don’t feel like it?!

3.  Okay, if you make a plan make it really, really, really hard.  It has to be only drinking juice for a week or living entirely off protein or it doesn’t count as a diet.  It has to be twelve workouts a week at really high intensity or nothing at all.  Go big or give up!

4.  Make sure to avoid committing to anything!!!  Having any level of accountability or commitment is just a trap.  If you sign up for a year at a gym, who knows what could happen?!  You could feel like quitting and then not be able to???  Can you imagine?!

5.  Avoid budgeting any money towards your health and fitness!  Working out should be completely free!  Okay, $10/month tops!!!  Spending anything to get the support, expertise, or equipment you need to keep you motivated and on track is a luxury!!!   Allocating some money so you can do a workout you’ll enjoy and stick with is just plain wasteful and selfish.  Your family and friends and healthcare provider will thank you down the road!  If you’re spending more on your gym membership than coffee at starbucks or your hair appointment, you have your priorities completely off!

6.  Base your workouts on what you see on social media.  The portrayal of fitness there is completely accurate and not manipulated to sell you something.  Constantly compare yourself and what you’re doing to what they post.

7.  Repeat steps 1-6 as often as necessary.  Eventually, you’ll get to the place where you have decades of giving up entirely under your belt and it’ll come naturally.  And the amount of television you’ll get to watch along the way is unreal!

Okay, so I hope you get what I’m trying to point out here.  It’s mostly an exaggeration, but I encounter at least one of these ideas every day. Whether it’s someone saying “I can’t afford it” and driving to Starbucks in their Mercedes every day or just being discouraged because they have realistically paced progress.  I’ve certainly found myself doing some of the above and I really should know better!  Start with realistic expectations, make a manageable plan, and strive for consistency.

What’s getting in your way?

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